“The Rose and The Night” Overview

I am over you.

That line was like a spell I kept always repeating inside my mind. A spell that I wished could work… or at least, I would listen to. But then I always end up doing the opposite and re-joined my old self: thinking of him all the time.

I had tried. God knows I tried. And I meant it. I just did not know how to do this properly. I did not know when I could do this. I just tried and I knew I had to try harder than before.

Six years I had been trying to puzzle all of these pieces that he and I could never understand. We both tried, I knew, to make it work. And we both knew that it would never work. But I was so stubborn and he was so cruel. If I could just listened and let him go earlier, I would never had this heartache. And if he could just really fight for me, we would never… what? I was not even sure if we would really end up together.

Oh, my goodness! What kind of love that I had? This was absurd. Too absurd that I could not see what I really desired from him. My conscience knew that I loved him. My brain would agree with that idea. My heart would not deny it. But my vision of us as one was just … a blur. I hated it when I realized it.

“Your passport, please!” Said the officer in front of me.

“Oh, sure.” I replied.

I handed him my passport and he studied it for a minute: checking if my photograph and my face were similar. Well, they were different I must say as I was not as skinny as I was now. My cheek bones were more visible. But the officer gave his thumb up to me and gave me back my passport, saying “You’re in.”

I mumbled thank you to him and walked pass the border line. I smiled to my self. I finally made it, coming to a place I never visited before. New place. New People. New hope.

I hoped.

I only brought my small luggage with me here. I left most of unimportant things in my country and brought the necessity here. I would only live here for one year, anyway. Why bother taking the whole wardrobe? My mother expected my returning and I would come back. I came to this country only for working. Nothing could hold me here longer. I never desired to see this country, although it was only six hours flight away. Still, I desired the Kingdom more than this one. They might have the same system here as the Kingdom, but they were not the same.

It was summer when I arrive in the airport. I could smell the dusk and feel the heat radiating from the sunlight when I stepped out of the airport and face a not-so-busy road. I would not expect heavy traffic here. No, no more traffic in my life.

I took a brief moment to observe the situation around here. There were two bus waiting for the passengers that would take them to the famous-main station in this liveable city. I knew it because I researched about it. I planned to go with the bus before my colleague to-be said that she would pick me up from the airport. I wondered where she was right now. I scanned the car park across the road, looking for someone who might hold a big poster with my name on it. I did not know how she looked like. So I really hope she would recognize me at the very moment she saw me.

I was still standing there when a car, a brand new Subaru, headed towards the pick up point two meters ahead of me. A man, about 50 years old, driving the car with a lady sitting next to him and two kids behind him. A little boy who sat on his baby seat in the back popping his head towards the window to have a better view of me, followed by his sister who sat next to him. The lady looked at me briefly before she went off of the car and came over me.

Would that be her? I had no idea.

“Hi! Susan?” She asked. Her eyes fixed on me, studying me.

“Yes, Mrs. Hill?”

“Yes! Allison.” She corrected. “How are you?”

I told her that I was fine but she could sense my husky voice which indicated me tired. I meant, I just had six hours flight and I landed in a foreign country with foreign people I had never met.

“This is my husband, Regie.” She introduced me to the man who got off of his driver seat and come to me. I said hello as I extended my hand to him. He hesitated for few seconds before shaking it. Allison waved at the two kids in the back seat, who kept glancing at me. At least, the boy was grinning at me. “They are my children. The girl names Aida and the little boy names Felix. He’s a little bit sick this morning.”

I waved and smiled at them, saying hello. The girl hid away her face behind the front seat, being shy of my action but the boy yelling  hello back at me, getting excited of my approach.

Regie took my luggage and put it in the back. I was about to get into the back seat before Allison stopped me and told me to seat in the front.

“Are you sure?” I was a little bit offended. Does she think I would do something to her kids?

“Yes, of course. You are my guest.” She said.

Oh, well. Maybe she did that to respect me. I should appreciate it. The thought of this country putting extra protection to children had somehow made me cautious, like I did not  know what to do with the kids here. I could have played with them or been friendly towards them, but I had to be so careful. I did not know what was allowed and what was forbidden to do with the kids.

Back to where I lived before, I could just hug the children straight away and play with them without being concerned of the policy. None of the parents would feel threatened when strangers touch their children. But here, our conducts towards children are being watched.

Allison and Regie told me about the surroundings area which I found almost similar to where I came from except for certain things. Here the road was not very busy. The number of vehicles were less than what my country had. But the speed was crazier. You still had to watched out for the cars because they could not hit the brake and make it stop less than five seconds. People would use the pedestrian bridge to cross the road and it was all clean everywhere: no rubbish. The pedestrians were safe for sure. All of the vehicles were on the right side. Just how organised everything was here.

In spite of its unusual scenery, I nearly fell asleep, while listening to Allison talking about things I had lost interest in. Then the car came to a stop.

“Welcome to Tottenham.”

I sighed……  Continue reading →

The Unwanted Mate – Preview

I could not take this anymore. Something very urgent had forced me to meet someone I had been denying the existence in my life. Not that I knew it was hurting him, he nearly to his death in every single breath he took without my presence around. But till now, I always had been a terrible lover to my mate. I never really showed him up my self. I did not want to! He was not my choice. The fate chose him for me while my heart kept choosing another male I worshiped more than any other powerful king in my existence.

“He’s dying, Lola!”

I looked down, not being able to look my friend in the eye. She, sure, would blame me and her eyes would shoot me a death glare. Rema snorted as she realize I did not make any response of her and the next thing I knew was my body floating in the air. My feet did not touch the ground and the air seemed hardly out of my throat. She held my neck tighter and kept glaring at me with her big brown eyes.

“MY BROTHER IS DYING BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU WON’T EVEN TAKE A LOOK OF HIM THAT MAYBE FOR THE LAST TIME AND MAY BE THE LAST THING YOU CAN DO FOR HIM! HE HAS BEEN LONGING FOR YOU, BITCH!” She snapped and threw me against the tree. My back sounded cracking itself and I cringed because of the pain it made.

I ran my hand to my back but a tiny movement seemed cracked my bone worse than ever. I try to catch a breath and steady on my heart beat. How dare she!

“Fuck you, Rema! I can careless of him! I don’t want him, you bitch!” I hissed at her. “You think I will let my self fall on him by you threatening me like this?” I let a an awful laughed out of my mouth before resuming my speech. “You’ve done completely wrong. Kill me, now! I’d rather die than being in his arms!”

Just a preview of my new story. I’ll post the first chapter of it if something can go ‘good’ in me. Comment or whatever it is, are allowed here. 

For further chapter, please visit my Wattpad to check out my works http://www.wattpad.com/user/SSopiahEndorat

Like You Would Ever Shut Up!

“Do not beat the Man, Beat the love down you have for the man.”

Marsha lifted her head up and shot a straight-dead look to the Man who had been standing in the front door in the last thrity minutes. His face and body were truly a tragedy; his red lips which tasted like a sweet wine could wiped away her happiness she had just built in; his strong arms that would easily wrap her tight could be the most dangerous trap, leading her to the same hell she was ever in; his brown eyes that told many lies in many pleasant way could melt her soul away to stone; and his beauty that would always have killed her in so many ways. Jaime, was the name that had always been painted in her head like a tattoo. He became her personal own art for the last 10 years. He was the darkness in the light. He was the pain in joy. He was the black in the white. He was everything in nothing. He was all of the bad thing in a whole great thing. He was her lover in enemy.
But the man was now a very different one. He was a taught man! He had learned so many lesson in his loneliness.

//Well, well, That’s it. I will only post the rest of the story in my own laptop. I’m done with those copycaters!!! So, If you feel like want to read more of the stories, email me.

Thanks. 🙂

What About Love

“Try and realize, that this is not love. I have been in love but this is not the same thing. It is not my feeling but some external power that has seized me. I went away, you know, because I had come to the conclusion that it was impossible – you understand? Because such happiness does not exist on earth. But I have struggled with myself, and found that without that there’s no life for me. And it must be decided…”

Constantine Dmitrich Levin, in Anna Karenina_Chapter X

What is Lost

So here,

I have been staring at my laptop screen waiting for some inspirations to cross my mind but nothing has come. I am kind of under pressure. Bahh! Do not ever think that I am about to write a journal here. I have tried that kind of thing a while back and I never really liked my journal. The story of my life were just… what’s it called? LAME.  Yeah, it was.

I will write down a story. Just to refresh my mind. It gives me a special sensation when I create a story. My fantasies are amazing so far. I admit it. But whatever you say, I know better than you. Judge me by your own senseless hate and I will give no response as return 😛 Alright, I am out of being professional this time. I am on my own mood which is so chilling.

Here the story, babies:

***

It was in middle of the night when I had to run my fingers over the keyboard. Someone was waiting for me to answer a very long message that had been sent through my inbox over Facebook. I had no idea what I was going to say. She made me completely speechless, surprised, confused, and above of all I was terribly shocked! She had uttered her feeling for me, that she had been having crush on me – the man she had never seen in her reality but only she could talk to through this social site. How could she possibly had that such of feeling towards me? I could have faked her everything. I could have pretended that I was good while I was not. I could have said that I was rich and had a lot of sport cars and owned a lot of companies in the whole country. I could have told her that I was reading a book while I was playing with some girls. I could have written her that I missed to talked to her while I did even not! I could have just lied everything about my life to her.

But NO! All I had ever said and written to her were true. I was always being honest towards her or everyone else I met over internet. I made friend with people here – whom you could say “A NET PEOPLE”. I admitted it that I had, somehow, a feeling which cared about them a lot. I always spent the rest of the day over here, to talk to them and to have fun with them; if they did not bore me with the chat.

And this girl, one of the friends I met here since last three months had distracted my attention. I had rolled over her pictures she had uploaded to her account. What should I say?! She’s gorgeous! Hell yeah! I liked her. But I had not known her better and further. I still had to know what kind of girl she was. People could change in a second and people could fake each other recently. But I had a faith towards her. She seemed good. Well, she was. She talked the good words, thou she cursed sometimes. That was normal, I think. She’s educated and she knew some good books. She had her own intelligence. She knew how to be loyal. She never stabbed my back so far. She was always honest. She knew how to take care of me. She always stayed awake to listened to every single of my damn trouble. She knew I was so clingy but she stayed here all the time. She was always there for me when none of them were. She was the figure I wish I could have here – in my country. Not on the internet and separated miles away between the continents. And I meant every single word I had just said.

So I wrote them down over and sent them to her.

“You’re such an amazing girl, you deserve all the best things. I love you so much

and I mean it. Maybe if we lived in the same country, things could change.

But sweety you can’t love someone without meeting him. 

Relationship is a responsibility, from time to time you’ll feel like you need the person you love.

You just need to hug him, touch his hand, hear his voice.

Maybe you like me, have crush on me, but you can not love me until you see my face,

watch my behavior.”

***

Okay, that is the prologue, I think. No, I haven’t finished the story yet. I will write the rest of them soon.

Comment will make me happy 🙂

 P.S ; WordPress has different function around me. Don’t be mad if I shared something you did not like.